Shaken Thunder - the cracks form...

In his room, after talking with Stephanie, after talking with Zuko, Billy sits in his room and shakes, anger and rage and tears all mixing in him and making his stomach roil and making him want to just scream!

Here he was, a nice guy, someone who spent his life helping people, someone who tried as hard as he could to just be a good person. He had done it since he could remember and every time he turned around, he was knocked down and kicked in the teeth. One person after another left him, one person after another hurt him, one person after another, by their actions or words, told him he wasn't worth it, wasn't worth anything. And he kept going, kept trying, kept being good. He never took it out on others, not once. Not ever.

And then there was Stephanie, who rejected him over an asshole who walked like a baby but who wanted to be considered a man, a boy named Zuko, who acted constantly like he should get a better life and yet didn't really want to work that hard for it. A baby who was really very little more than a thug with an excuse that he had experienced some bad stuff in his life. This was who she tossed him over for? She stripped her choice from him and gave it to this boy who wouldn't learn, who would not truly treasure her, who would just use her for his own validation while they were together...

Billy shakes and tries to regain control of his breathing.

For too long he has let things build and burn in him; his exile to the Rock, his loss of his family, the loss of the Wizard, the loss of friends and connections, and now the loss of Stephanie, combined with the lack of proper food and the lack of taking care of himself these last few weeks. It all combined and roiled in him. His stomach suddenly sent a surge of pain into him, all the way through him and he curled up over it, crying out.

The next minute he was racing for the bathroom,barely making it in time as he threw up, violently, in a stream that seemed to go on and on and on. When he was finished, eyes closed, breathing heavily, clutching the toilet with his arms, not even dry heaves still going, he opened those eyes.

When he saw what was in the toilet he jerked backwards.

Blood.

His mouth suddenly felt foul and he staggered away, getting a glass of water.

But it didn't help, nothing did. His mind was in a spiral and he was crying. He wasn't sure when he had started, but it was too much, too damn much!

He sank to his knees and cried form-shaking sobs.

The Fall of Billy Batson

Sometime later, he rose and moved to the window and jerked it open.

He needed air.

He needed to fly.

He screamed the name.

"SHAZAM!"

And then he was flying, high and away.

Even as he did so, inside him, a struggle was going on. Wisdom of Solomon against heartbreak and sorrow and too much darkness. His mind was chaotic as he soared higher and higher up, and over the lake. He struggled, even as he cried, his heart broken and his mind reeling.

The conflict activated a defense mechanism. Inside him, deep, he had planted the codes to, if he ever became dangerous, or unbalanced, deny him the powers of Captain Marvel. And when the conflict and chaos in his mind reached the near deadly point, when he paused in mid-air and threw up again, over the lake, blood and nothing else... then it activated... and suddenly, two-hundred feet up, Billy Batson was standing in mid-air...

...and then he was falling. His senses reeling, his mind completely chaotic, his heart hammering, he fell, and then he plunged into the lake. His impact sounded like a hammer against concrete and he felt things break, pain shooting into him further.

And he sank, into the waters, deep and dark...

...somewhere inside him, something was screaming. somewhere inside him, something was telling him he had to rise, had to try, had to fight. But he was tired of fighting, and tired of trying, tired of being the better man, tired of being a good guy and losing everything, over and over.

He despaired and sank further.

That small part of him, the one that wanted to live, the one that believed still, flung pictures at him; his friends, Sara and Hank. His sister, Rachel and blood-sister, Mary. His cousin Freddy, and others who cared, and he screamed again, in denial, and the darkness boiled around him. and the water sucked him down...

And somewhere inside him, at the base of him, at the deepest lowest point, one small part of him said, simply... no.

I will not die...

I will not fall...

I will not let myself end this way...

...and suddenly, Billy's eyes open, even as he settled to the bottom of the lake. And with the breath inside him, the little left, he spoke a word, his hands waving in a small line and a symbol.

On the surface, all was quiet, even the bubbles had stopped... and then they started again and the area where he had hit seemed to roil and bubble and boil... and out of the water, Billy Batson rose.

With a limp, he slowly walked across the surface of the water to the shore and collapsed there. He looked a mess, his clothing torn and battered, his whole body soaked, his face smeared with blood and looking like something a cat had dragged in.

It was a long time before he stopped shuddering, stopped moaning. But he slowly pried himself up, and rose and began to stagger towards the Bar, slow movements, limping, but moving...