![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jun. 11th, 2006 12:21 amBilly trudges up the stairs, finding his rooms and opening the door with the new key he had stopped at Bar to get. He slips inside and shivers, closing his eyes and resting his back against the door as he slides down it, to the floor.
For a long time, he just stares into the darkness of his rooms. He feels... numb. He has screamed, cried, pounded his hands against the wall, let loose rage and fear and pain, and he is drained and numb. The events of the past few weeks seem to dance around him like a will o' the wisp. His pain, his fear, his horror, all of it is softer than it should be, dimmer, partially because he is burnt out, partially because of what Rachel did, partially because of what he now knows he did, even though he cant remember it.
He sits in the darkness and stares at nothing, not focusing his eyes as he just tries to find something, anything, that he can hold onto.
There isn't a thing he can think of.
Tears come, finally, and he cries, for lost innocence, for pain, for fear and frustration, and for the lack of all he knew.
Somewhere in all of it, he makes a decision. Tomorrow, he will begin to prepare to start over. Tomorrow, he will pack to leave Milliways, forever. Rachel can reach him on the Rock, even if no one else can. He will deal with the rest, then.
Making his decision makes him feel a little better, but still hurts, and, eventually, he sleeps.
For a long time, he just stares into the darkness of his rooms. He feels... numb. He has screamed, cried, pounded his hands against the wall, let loose rage and fear and pain, and he is drained and numb. The events of the past few weeks seem to dance around him like a will o' the wisp. His pain, his fear, his horror, all of it is softer than it should be, dimmer, partially because he is burnt out, partially because of what Rachel did, partially because of what he now knows he did, even though he cant remember it.
He sits in the darkness and stares at nothing, not focusing his eyes as he just tries to find something, anything, that he can hold onto.
There isn't a thing he can think of.
Tears come, finally, and he cries, for lost innocence, for pain, for fear and frustration, and for the lack of all he knew.
Somewhere in all of it, he makes a decision. Tomorrow, he will begin to prepare to start over. Tomorrow, he will pack to leave Milliways, forever. Rachel can reach him on the Rock, even if no one else can. He will deal with the rest, then.
Making his decision makes him feel a little better, but still hurts, and, eventually, he sleeps.
