OOM: Communication

[withamagicword]

Billy lays on his bed, angry, frustrated and without a clue what to do now.

He stands and paces, then flops and lays down, then stands and paces again.

Finally he shakes his head.

Maybe a flight will help clear his head. He speaks the magic word.

"Shazam."

And lightning crashes in and he changes. In the instant of his chance the idea comes. He speaks again.

"Shazam!"

And shifts back to Billy and lays down on his bed and reaches out with his mind.


::Steph? Can you hear me? Steph?::

Comments

[alwaysroomforhope]

::Billy!::


She's been pacing her suite, furious and helpless and bored, when he speaks in her mind; face brightening, she flops down on the couch and stretches out.

::Hi!::

[withamagicword]

He grins wide and sends love and how much he misses her and a healthy dose of lust and...

::Hi! How are you? What is going on?::

[alwaysroomforhope]

::Still grounded,:: she says, frustration echoing. ::Uh. About that.::

[withamagicword]

::What is with that? Whta happened that he is suddenly in charge? I mean, I know you respect hiom and all, and I am confused... what happened two days ago?::

LOve and support and confusion flow along the link.

[alwaysroomforhope]

::He's Nightwing,:: Steph says, with another wave of helpless frustration. ::I can't stop him from doing anything - he's Nightwing. And he decided I needed to be taken charge of, for some reason.::

It's easy to slip aside from what she knows she'll have to say. Too easy.

[withamagicword]

::Why did he decide that? I dont get what happened... I know we hadnt talked as much as we should have and all, but... did something else happen?::

And he ponders this thought of Nightwing taking over. He wouldnt yield like that... but he has spent his life being independant. He cant fault her for not being the same.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Perhaps catching some of this, Steph sighs, rolling to her feet, and a burst of resentment accompanies her thought.

::I tried to get out the window. He'd sealed it shut. I tried to sneak out past him. He'd done something to the door handle. I trid to fight through him to jump off the balcony to the lake, and he beat me with one hand behind his back. He's Nightwing, Billy. What can't he do? How am I supposed to beat him?::

She paces the length of the suite, and falls back on the couch, giving up.

::He thinks I'm out of control.::

[withamagicword]

::I love you... and I hate to see you caged...::

He blinks at that last.

::Why?::

[alwaysroomforhope]

She flinches, and bows her head, wrapping her arms around her knees and huddling in on herself.

::I ...::

It's - so hard to force herself even to think it, to Billy.

::He saw me - in the Bar. Uh.::

[withamagicword]

::Steph, what's wrong? I love you....::

He sends that thought as strong as he can, support for her flowing along the link, an warmth.

[alwaysroomforhope]

She -

- she can't. Not when he's trusting her, loving her, not when he's wrapping so much warmth around her. She blanks her features, calls Batman to mind, suppresses her emotions enough to close the link off to almost nothing. Just the words. Just words, words that'll cut him sharper than any knife ever could be - words that might break the link altogether, end any chance at happiness she'd thought she'd found.

Words that have to be said, because he deserves nothing less than the truth.

God. I've screwed up so much.

She takes a deep breath, drags the blanket of forced coldness down again, and sends - just words.

::He saw me kissing Zuko in the Bar the other day.::

[withamagicword]

The words hit like a ton of bricks. He gasps as shock runs along his nerves, followed by rage and pain and hurt.

Hurt, like a knife inside him, stabbing dee and he is suddenly crying, somehow, he knows time has passed and he isnt sure how or what is happening. How could it go wrong like this? The coldness around the words, the lack of emotiuon, drains him further... hoiw could she be so cold? How....?

::Why? How? I thought.... Why?::

The words are almost incoherant in his confusion and pain.

[alwaysroomforhope]

It hits like the sky's fallen, the wash of emotion that knocks her backwards, even through the tiny space she's left open.

She can't breathe, can't think. It's so much - it's so - it's -

::it wasn't anything:: she manages, curled tightly in on herself, hollow and aching. ::it wasn't - like that. i don't even like him.::

She takes refuge in coldness, again, forcing herself to breathe, open her eyes, calm. Calm.

She's cold. All over. Not shivering, but cold, hands limp on the couch.

That way she doesn't have to hate herself so much.

::i'm sorry::

[withamagicword]

He can feel some of that and then her taking refuge in coldness, shuting herself off again, that hurts.

He is crying and forcing himself to try to think...

::Why... why did you kiss him? I want to understand, please? I love you... and I dont understand, how you could kiss him, even thinking of kissing him....::

He breaks off not knowing what to say.

[alwaysroomforhope]

::i don't know. it was stupid.::

[withamagicword]

::Do you l;ike him?::

The words are out befoe he can stop them, coated in fear and he trembles like a leaf in the wind.

[alwaysroomforhope]

"No," Steph says aloud, to the empty apartment, and then forces herself to move, to lift cold hands and cold arms and push herself to her feet. She walks to the windows, unsteadily, and leans her forehead on the glass, looking out at the lake below. "No. No. No."

::yes.::

You can't lie telepathically. Not even to yourself.

::Not the way I like you. I think he's an awful person. He's hopeless and miserable and rude. He insults me and I still have bruises from fighting him and he's ...::

She can't explain why it's still a 'yes'. There's no reason it should be. She thinks he's brash and abrasive and thoughtless.

But she was the one who kissed him.

[withamagicword]

he flinches, head snapping around at that small admission. Pain flares again and he struggles to breathe as he listens.

::I thought...::

His mind is whirling, shivering. In the actual room in the Rock his body shakes hard.

::And yet, you kissed him, and yet, you like him... ::

He steals himself to ask her one more question.

::Would you do it again...?::

[alwaysroomforhope]

::I don't know,:: she says, sinking to her knees in front of the window, forehead still pressed to the glass.

::I don't know. I say 'no' right now. But I'd have said 'no, never,' up until the second before I did it...::

[withamagicword]

His head bows.

He was afraid she would say that.

::I... need to think, to absorb this... but, Steph? I love you...and that isnt going to change. You hear me? I love you.::

He breathes, struggling to put off the tears for a little longer.

::I need to think about this and figure out my head... can I 'talk' to you tomorrow night? Or, whenever the next day or so we touch? I promise, I wont just vanish, but i need... I have to... I need to process, to think...::

His 'voice' is almost strangled.

::Are you.... are you going to be okay?::

He won't break down, he won't break down....

[alwaysroomforhope]

She's just destroyed so much of what they've built with one careless moment, and he asks if she'll be okay.

Cold. She's clutching at it as if it's a physical thing, an iceblock she can truly bury herself in. She can't burden him with her emotions as well. Cold, and calm, and a fingernail catches and tears on the carpet as she forces her hands into fists, leaving blood seeping from the corner of her nail.

::Whatever you need, I'll give you,:: she promises, forcing herself again to relax. Coolness. She drags herself upright and moves to the sink, running cold water over the injured hand, washing the blood away. ::Anything you want.::

Even if he says it's over. It's his decision, and she drops her head again, squeezing her eyes shut.



::i'm so sorry.::

[withamagicword]

He can feel that coldness and he groans.

::I need to think, but... I need you... please dont cut me off, dont push me out? I love you so much...::

He is shivering on the floor in his room, head aching.

::love you::

[alwaysroomforhope]

::And you. Don't think that I don't.::

The tap shuts off with a snap, and her finger starts bleeding again straight away. She swears, and turns blindly away, reaching for a paper towel - something, anything; her flailing arm knocks a jar off the bench, and it shatters on contact with the tiles.

I can't do anything right.

::I - I'm so sorry. I just - go. Just - look after yourself. Please.::

She kneels, sweeping the pieces fiercely together with the edges of her hands, heedless of scratches.

There's so much she needs to put back together.

[withamagicword]

He winces, but one more thought comes through his confusion, this one honesty bright and brilliant with love.

::I believe in you.::

Then he is gone.

In his room on the Rock he sinks into a daze, mind whirling, heart shuddering, soul feeling hot and cold and... he shudders into darkness, losing everything as it all spins away...