Sisters, Brothers, And Other Things

[withamagicword]

Billy is working on small magics and spectacularly failing to maintain his concentration when he finally cancels them all and makes his way to his room. He lays down and sighs.

Nothing is working.

He uses the magic to one more make the room one where he can be just Billy and speaks the magic word. shivering as he settles there.

His mind is still trying to deal with everything and it is making him tired and grumpy and unfocused. Nothing is working right. Nothing is right... and everything feels off...

Then he opens his mind and considers calling Steph,. but it is too soon... and he isn't ready, so instead, he concentrates and calls for a sister, one he hopes will be listening.

::Rachel? Are you there?::

Comments

[futures_of_ash]

::Yo:: comes an almost immediate reply. She's always listening, after all, it's hard not to be.

::Hey kiddo...you alright?:: the worry is instant, and the words laced with warm flame.

[withamagicword]

::More tired than anything else, bone-weary. This whole Bastion of Ninth Age Magic thing kinda sucks some days... and I thought I had it bad when I was just the Captain!::

He forces a smile into his voice.

::A little worried about stuff, but later for that... how are you?::

[futures_of_ash]

In answer there's energy, free and clear, to combat weariness and seep into muscle and bone. Rachel: Better than any damn energy drink out there.

::Stuff?:: she asked simply. ::I'm fine...::

[withamagicword]

He gets that image in his head and chuckles slightly.

::Life, girl, love, magic, universal chaos, you know, the little stuff.::

He smilesfaintly as he arches an eyebrow.

::Is that a 'I'm not going to elaborate at all because i am okayish' fine or a real fine?::

[futures_of_ash]

Rachel, and for a limited time only, available in cans or bottles!

:;Yep, all the little things in life...what's bothering you most though?:: she asked gently, prodding cause it's what sisters did.

::And it's the "Hmmm,nothing catastrophic happening, bring at Bar Fine as a cracked telepath can be"::

[withamagicword]

He nods, in his room.

::Whether I am cut out for this job. Whether Steph and I will last. Whether anything that I do really makes a difference.::

A bitter hint of self-mockery clings to that last one.

[futures_of_ash]

::It does:: simple and sheer admittance, that. ::Everything makes a difference, you can see it if you look, never question that:: down that road lay madness and loss. She knows.

::You'll live up to everything you need to Billy...though I can't help much with the Steph stuff, I'm no good dating::

[withamagicword]

He smiles faintly.

::I wish i was so sure of that.::

He eyes her in his mind, speculatively.

::Really? I am sorry.::

[futures_of_ash]

::It comes with experience I guess, or time. Either way works I think:: she mused, sending comfort now.

::Eh, dating is overrated:: she chuckled.

[withamagicword]

He nods at the first. His response to the second is more succint.

::I am beginning, I think, to learn that. It hasnt seemed to end well, ever.::

Three tries so far, two ended badly, this one isnt looking good now.

[futures_of_ash]

::But necessary:: she added, seeing where his thoughts may go on that ::Especially in your case Billy. To help keep in touch with what it means to be human, to never forget::

There's a hug though, real and firm for all that it's from so far away.

[withamagicword]

The hug is returned as much as he can.

::Maybe. I'm not sure that reality likes the way I am doing things. Some of the signs I have seen of late. Well... life goes on. Dating is however, not going on.::

[futures_of_ash]

::Well, reality can talk to me:: she snorted gently. ::I'll set it straight:: or set it on it's ear, but hey...

::What happened?::

[withamagicword]

::Reality tends to not listen very well. I think it has a hearing problem.::

He sighs.

::Complications between Steph and me. And on top of personal complications between us? Her 'brother' showed up and decided she needed supervising and promptly grounded her. As In I cant see her at all, grounded her.::

[futures_of_ash]

::S'why you bounce it around a bit, get it's attention:: she stated soberly. Maybe she was teasng...maybe.

::Maybe I should talk to her:: no, her tone doesn't bode well. She's very protective of family after all.

[withamagicword]

Billy chuckles.

Then he shakes his head.

::Nah. I dont honestly think she has any idea any more than I do what is going on... I may have screwed up majorly here, sis... I fell in love with her, but whta if she isnt ready?::

His fears run deeper yet.

[futures_of_ash]

::She told me she loved you, Billy. If that's changed? I want to know why:: she almost growled in his head. ::But I'll ask nicely?::

::You didn't screw up::

[withamagicword]

::I dont know that it has... she says she loves me and wants to be with me. I dont know anything anymore. I wonder a lot of things. Did I rush her? Was she not ready? Was I not ready? What will happen now? I love her and I want to be with her. I just... feel uncertain, afraid... lost.::

His voice gets quieter as he talks, and quieter...

[futures_of_ash]

It doesn't matter how quiet he goes, she can always hear him, it's what she does.

::You're not lost, and it's never, ever wrong to love Billy. Ever. You two didn't rush, but you are both teenagers, things get weird::

[withamagicword]

::Just dont... bemean to her, or push her? I dont know what is going on in her head, or what started all this mess, but I know that wont solve it. I love you, Rachel... I love her too, and I wish I knew what to do. I dont. I dont know what to do about a lot of things these days.::

[futures_of_ash]

::I don't do mean:: she admitted at last, the sense of a sigh rolling out ::I just want to understand...and if she's really worthwhile? Well, nothing I can do to her that's worse than what she'll do to herself::

::Somethings just aren't figured out so easy. You learn all the secrets of the universe and they don't leave room for the not so secret stuff, s you never stop learning...::

[withamagicword]

He nods.

::I just... dont want her thinking I think it is her fault that things arent right. How are you doing? Are you still at Milliways?::

Warmth flows from him to her.

[futures_of_ash]

::She knows you, and she knows you don't blame things on people:: she assured gently.

::Yeah, for a little longer:: she chuckled.

[withamagicword]

::I dont know if I will be back before that. Things are insanely busy here. if not, you should stop by on your way out to where-ever. You are always welcome.::

[futures_of_ash]

::I could do your homework for you:: she offered half in jest. ::So you can comeout and play...::

[withamagicword]

He rolls his eyes.

::Not this time, big sister, This is something I have to do.::

Hey, maybe stubbornness runs in families?

[futures_of_ash]

::How come no one ever trusts me withhomework?:: she sighed. ::Its' not like I'd eat it or anything::

Yep, definately going for a smile.

[withamagicword]

He eyes her and pokes her long distance.

::Cute... watch out or I will assign you homework...::

[futures_of_ash]

::Well, considering I"ve never been to school, I make no garuntees about the quality of my work, but sure, what ever makes you grin:: she chuckled, not at all worried about admitting such deficiencies to him.

[withamagicword]

He rolls his eyes and pokes her again.

::Bah. What have you been up to back there?::

[futures_of_ash]

::Resting:: she answered easily. NOt like she coudl save the worlds from Bar...

::And still arguing about dresses with Bar::

[withamagicword]

He nods.

::Why are you arguing?::

[futures_of_ash]

::Cause we can?:: Bar wants Rach to wear something backless to the wedding, Rachel doesn't want to disturb guests.

[withamagicword]

::Sometimes, big sister, you can be silly.::

[futures_of_ash]

::Yep!:: she rather enjoys it.

[withamagicword]

He smiles, faintly.

::Thanks. For being there and... thanks.::

[futures_of_ash]

::Hey, i'm your sis, it's my job and my pleasure::

[withamagicword]

He smiles sadly and nods.

::I think I am going to crash... thanks, Rachel. Talk to you later.::

[futures_of_ash]

:;Sleep well kiddo, or as well as you can:: she's a realist at times after all. ::I'm here if you need me::

[withamagicword]

::Thank you. Talk to you later::

He closes out the connection and sinks into his bed, dead tired. NOnetheless, sleep is a long time coming.